All these and many other thoughts were whizzing around in my mind as I still struggled to hide my conflicted feelings from Jill. I really didn’t want to rain on her parade, but in the end, I had to admit defeat. I couldn’t work this thing out alone, I needed to own up to and share my deeply mixed feelings.It’s always been a failing of mine, to take the world’s troubles on my shoulders and deal with it myself rather than asking for help. Even from Jill, my best friend and life mate. As I gave up the unequal fight to look totally enthusiastic, true to form, Jill was nothing but supportive and loving as she listened to my confession and we started working it out together.“Honey, you’re not telling me anything I didn’t already know,” she smiled tenderly at me. “I know how I’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If you were heading off into the sunset with Gemma or some other woman for several weeks. And besides, you’re not as good an actor as you think you are,” she added, lightening. “You still need to let me know whenever you are going to be with your friends and where you’ll be going,” I said firmly.It was a relief when Marilyn called me the next week to ask about going to lunch. I’d just accepted a new position as financial manager for Brookside Publishing, a company that was expanding its market from trade catalogs to non-fiction books focused on the real estate and building industry. It wasn’t a national powerhouse like the bookstore chain I’d just left, but they allowed me a complete inspection of their financial reports before I accepted the position.“Marilyn, I’d love to meet with you. This week is a little tight since I just started my new job, but could we meet for lunch at Muffeletta on Tuesday next week?”“That works well. Do you mind if one or two other mothers meet with us?”I envied mothers who had husbands with good jobs and were able to devote all their time to being mothers and wives. It just wasn’t the way it was for me. It wasn’t that way for the.
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